People I care about keep sharing information and experiences, about things that I don’t think are there, things I cannot observe with any empirical evidence. It’s a bizarre and deranged situation for me. I feel like I have lost the ability to process essential information, has my body lost its capacity to work with reality, what is wrong with me? Or are these people lying to me in a destructive way, creating distrust in myself? Can I trust myself, can I still trust the senses that I need for survival? Do I need to look within myself? Am I cognitively impaired? How am I going to survive when I live in a society where nearly everyone believe in things that are not sensual, not logical, not rational, not provable.
I’m doomed living in an asylum that is called society where people that are close to me, that say they care about me, are actually hurting me. Either I’m insane, the asylum is in my mind, or people around me are messing with me, am I evil? Where is the morality in this, where are the virtues people?
# reading time of this post: 8 minutes.
# watching time of listed videos in this post: 30 minutes, 16 minutes and 110 minutes.
# listening time of listed podcasts in this post: 60 minutes and 80 minutes.
When people make you feel insane it’s like living in hell. I’m afraid of finding out that people I care about and emotional invested energy in are actuality behaving insane, it hardens me up, creates defences, makes me over protective and very careful to connect with other people in order to not get hurt.
People tell me I need to train my body, clean my organs, decalcify my pineal gland, align my chakras, vibrate at other frequencies, need to be more good, more emotional available, I have to wait for the planets to align right. That absence of scientific proof is nowhere near prove of absence of a phenomenon, that truth is subjective, and then tell me I need to be more open for experiences that are scientifically unexplainable and contradicts natural science.
It’s a crippling and torturing experience, where is the invisible apple, where are the invisible things that have supreme value, where is the interconnecting earth spirit and energy that flows through us all. Where is this non material conscious energy that can transfer out of peoples bodies and into other materials and where we may have conversations with?
I’m not a magical cloud of energy with frequencies. I’m a rational creature, made of complex interconnected organic matter, living in material reality.
After finding out the truth about the nonsense that people call truth and reality. I had to accept that other people, are who they are, my integrity survived and I wanted to have therapy and communication training. I’m not insane and I will not self attack. I used to pretend who I am, had to hide my rationality. Self-knowledge and philosophy are the saviours I need for survival, they give me a better perspective and tools to work with, instead of primitive freeze or flight responses.
I’m open for experimentation on things that we cannot explain, we may use bioelectrodynamics, biocommunication, quantum physics and other semi-unconscious mechanisms in our bodies. I’m fine with saying that I don’t know how all things works, but any evolving scientific theories will not contradicts natural science and we have to be aware of all the different cognitive biases. However to baseline how we behave in our daily lives, in our relationships with other people on things that are unexplainable or superstitious is just maddening and immoral for me.
Life is short and I’m not getting any younger, I tried to find people with the same interest, build friendships, emotionally connected with them and had a very nice time, but eventually there will be communication about values, principles, what you want out of live, what you want out of relationships, how to solve disagreements, what are the approaches to conformity and religion?
To have any constructive way of (meta)communication, resolve misunderstandings, ethical reasoning I need to have shared metaphysical views on how things work, you need to learn to speak each other’s language, to first align each others metaphysical views.
Watch this couple explain how they put down their groundwork:
Superstition is the belief in supernatural causality—that one event causes another without any natural process linking the two events—such as astrology, religion, omens, witchcraft, prophecies, etc., that contradicts natural science.
Spiritualism is a dualist metaphysical belief that the world is made up of at least two fundamental substances, matter and spirit. This very broad metaphysical distinction is further developed into many and various forms by the inclusion of details about what spiritual entities exist such as a soul, the afterlife, spirits of the dead, deities and mediums; as well as details about the nature of the relationship between spirit and matter.
I think its okay to not believe in spirits or some universal energy. I’m all in for emotional connections, emotional intelligence, physical and mental exploration, self-knowledge, doing things that makes us happy, peaceful, non-violent, voluntary, truthful and compassionate, but it all stays in the same metaphysical view/realm for me.
I use a methodologies to separate truth from falsehood, for example any valid scientific theory must be (a) universal, (b) logical, (c) empirical verifiable, (d) reproducible and (e) as simple as possible.
Lots of people died so humanity eventually could have a window of enlightenment and people happily accept devices, knowledge and skills that would not exist without the scientific method, but reject most of these concepts in personal interactions. When it gets to personal relations I want to have individual and voluntary win-win relationships and be able to separate friends from allies and truth from falsehood.
As someone that values integrity, honesty, trust, love, understanding, ambition, helpfulness, frugality, wisdom, justice, curiosity, cleanliness and a lot of other virtues I came to conclusions where I like to eat mostly fruit and vegetables, stay healthy and exercise, stay aware of my surroundings and my own behaviour, apply the non-aggression principle to all species that can suffer, learn about peaceful attached parenting, positive thinking and growth. I also explore alternative agriculture, medicine and lifestyles.
Due to these interest I gravitate towards people that have dualist metaphysical views and I get torn between different metaphysical views. Experienced the futility of truth badgering. There is a balance of staying curious, having humility, having empathy for the other persons positions and their past, create perspective and techniques like radical honesty and non-violent communication may help, but I find it difficult to get a good balance and at the same time respect my own boundaries. I fall down and get up, keep improving myself and dig further down the rabbit hole to see if there is something better, we are the authors of our own lives!
I wanted to share this information in the hope it keeps helping me and maybe others. It was a similar to journalling and let some parts of myself speak out. It will be interesting to read this back in a few years and see how my thoughts and experiences have developed.
Listen to this 60 minute podcast to get a better idea of how I feel about a lot of the first paragraphs:
Watch this this discussion between between people with different metaphysical and see how they don’t have a constructive way of communication or to resolve misunderstandings even while they try hard to stay civilized:
 Universally Preferable Behaviour: A Rational Proof of Secular Ethics
“When you believe in things that you don’t understand. Then you suffer. Superstition ain’t the way” – Stevie Wonder